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Joke of the Day
"""I propose a toast"" ""I propose a bagel."" ""Ya bagel, much better."""
Next Joke
"1day I'll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store"
"Wine and cheese pair well together bc they are both the expired byproducts of other foods enjoy your trash snack rich people"
"While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective defense against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?"
"Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree? Good hiders, aren't they?"
"If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it."
"Q: Why were screams coming from the kitchen? A: The cook was beating the eggs."
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
"There are two things you need to understand to be successful. 1. Never tell anyone everything you know. 2."
"some girls give each other the emptiest compliments I've ever heard ""aww babe ur just omg like I can't"" wtf did you just say??"