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Joke of the Day
"How did the sloth become President of the tree? He slept his way to the top."
Next Joke
"July 4th celebrates the original Brexit. Thanks George"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Caroline ! Caroline who ? Caroline of rope with you !"
"How many? How many people making how many people does it take to change a light bulb take to change a lightbulb?"
"Well Bob, I love to travel, and being my own boss is great. But I suppose my favorite thing about being a serial killer is murdering people."
"My next door Neighbour's Daughter said that when she gets older she wants to marry me. I was touched. A few minutes later, so was she."
"I lovingly caress my belly. ""You're expecting?"" a woman asks. I smile serenely. ""Just ate an amazing burrito,"" I tell her."
"What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror."
"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."
"Hitler took a quiz... He didn't do that well on most of the questions, but he got the third reich."