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Joke of the Day

"""I don't want a lot for Christmas."" Later... ""All I want for Christmas is you."" EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH."

"I don't like rape jokes... they feel kinda forced."

"Spell ""pound"" in two letters. Lb."

"Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women."

"Leave Apple alone! All they wanted to do was jack off."

"How many hipsters dose it take to change a light bulb? A: None they have a guy for that comes on Tuesdays only uses reproductions of antique bulbs"

"What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti."

"Dinosaur 911: what's ur emergency Dinosaur: A FIREBALL IN THE SKY IS FLYIN AT US Dinosaur 911: is it the sun Dinosaur: haha probably. bye"

"I once met an irritating man who upheld his family name. He was Hanoi-Ying."

"The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep."