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Joke of the Day

"I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh."

"How do we know Jesus turned water into wine at parties? Because if he turned the **wine** into **water** someone would have kicked the shit out of him."

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him what happened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""

"I just found out the mods' password! [removed]"

"Why doesn't Oedipus swear? Because he kisses his mum with that mouth."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the P is silent!"

"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it."

"What do you call a Mormon who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have sex with strangers? An oxymormon."

"Why hasn't there been a coup in the United States? Because they don't have a US Embassy."

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it It's true, I saw it with my own eyes"