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Joke of the Day

"At school, I saw my principal walking around in a daze. I asked him what happened, and he just looked at me and said, ""I've lost my faculties!"""

Next Joke
 
"Alcohol is best served."
"When someone says ""women like you"" to me, I assume they're referring to extremely powerful wizards."
"What do you call a prostitute with her hands up her own skirt? Self Employed"
"Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested."
"My girlfriend recently said that she needs some time and distance... Is she trying to calculate velocity?"
"A one-liner walks into a bar."
"how to tell your girl shes getting fat (actual convo on valentines day with my girl) me-i love fruit, her-i love chips, me- you better start to love fruit or youl love handles"
"What's the most confusing day in the hood? Father's Day"
"cop pulls me over 2nite. comes 2 my window n asks, Cop: ""do you know y i pulled u over?"" Me: ""because Batman is catching all the criminals"""