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Joke of the Day

"I shall plucketh thine eyes from ye skull and make kebobs but with bendy straws instead of skewers cuz those are dangerous"

"Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?"

"And the Lord said unto John ""come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and got a toaster."

"today I matched speeds with a car on the highway so I could make eye contact with a dog in the backseat"

"What are a clumsy person's favorite flowers? Oopsie daisies."

"What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes? Xu wong"

"My wife and I went to see a realtor. ""Have you guys considered moving houses?"" he asked. I said, ""No, we don't like caravans."""

"What did Goku want to be when he was growing up? a SAIYANtist!"

"What do you call a moari terrorist? Geeee, hard!"

"[invention of kissing] WEIRD PERSON: Hey let me lick the inside of your mouth EVEN WEIRDER PERSON: Ok"