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Joke of the Day

"Me: Don't spit at your sister! 4: I'm a bunny. Me: Bunnies don't spit. 4: I'm an acid-spitting bunny."

"Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step."

"LITTLE MERMAID 2016: SEA WITCH URSULA: Your voice is mine mwaahahaha!!! ARIEL: *flicks eyes up; keeps texting*"

"What's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."

"School is like a boner, long and hard. Unless you're Asian."

"Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there's a cop hiding in the bushes"

"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack."

"If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board."

"Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him? Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY."

"Dear McDonald's cashier, Don't give me that look, there's no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don't forget the toy b!tch."