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Joke of the Day

"Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there's a cop hiding in the bushes"

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"Why do Feminists Like to have Sex with the Lights Off? They can't stand to see a man have a good time."
"Ted Cruz announced he is running for president as a Republican. That surprised me; I thought he was running as a joke."
"Their seems like their are a lot of unfinished jokes going around... Gotcha"
"A guy goes to his doctor, and the doctor tells him, ""You've got to stop masturbating."" And the guy's like, ""Wait, why?"" The doctor reploes, ""So I can examine you."""
"What's a mouse's least favorite shape? A trapezoid."
"[Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering."
"Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police? He was under investigation for excessive use of Force"
"Do you piss in the toilet before getting in the shower? I'll bet you wipe yourself with toilet paper too..."
"Did you hear the joke about the two monsters who crashed? They fell off a cliff boom boom."