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Joke of the Day
"What's worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat? Sitting on a warm one."
Next Joke
"I dare McDonald's to introduce a black Hamburglar. I McDouble dare them."
"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic philosopher with insomnia? He was up all night wondering if there really is a dog. I know it's a dad joke, because it was my dad's favorite joke."
"A fighter plane mechanic goes to the doctor for his impotence. The doctor examines him and then writes a brief diagnosis. ""Could not reproduce"""
"Apparently, if you jump out of a plane wearing parachute pants, it doesn't break your fall at all. But you can carry about a hundred combs."
"5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*"
"Interviewer: ""So why should we hire you?"" Me: ""Cause I need a job very badly."" Interviewer: ""So?"" Me: ""And you have a vacancy. BINGO"""
"Why are knives always the funniest students at utensil school? Because they're the class cut-ups."
"The Buddhist Mafia is called Karma."
"PRIEST: Do you take this this woman, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, until death do you part? ME: Well, now you made it weird."