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Joke of the Day

"My son walked in on me and my wife ""wrestling"" on the bed. We call it ""wrestling"" because he can't pronounce jiu-jitsu."

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem? comes out of nowhere."

"""I ~don't own~ a TV."" *Binge-views 8 hours of Netflix in bed.*"

"Pro Tip: Ask the guy sitting next to you if he's gonna freak out about you watching fetish porn before you waste $8 on in-flight wifi."

"What does a White hole and a stoner in a herb plantation have in common There both spewing out Thyme"

"I tried to wear skinny jeans but it squeezed all my flesh into the top half of my body and made me look like a novelty balloon."

"Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days."

"What do... Gay horses eat...?? Hey!!"

"I gave my car some heroine and now it's a plane. Too bad it will eventually crash."

"Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Sexy nurse! H: Meet me in the bedroom. [10 minutes later] *we both come in wearing nurse costumes* M: Uh."