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Joke of the Day

"Pro Tip: Ask the guy sitting next to you if he's gonna freak out about you watching fetish porn before you waste $8 on in-flight wifi."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?"

"If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July"

"A priest, a horse and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"[white house staff meeting] Obama: Any questions? *Biden raises hand* Obama: Spongebob is yellow Joe. *Biden returns to coloring book*"

"Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead."

"You are depriving some poor village of its idiot."

"Every text from my mom is the most heart breaking thing I've ever read. Until the next text from my mom."

"Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!"

"It took me 6 months to finish a puzzle.. ..which I think is amazing considering the box said 2-4 years"