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Joke of the Day

"Antivirus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him, they estimate the trial could last 30 days."

"Listen lady, you have 2 options. Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this."

"A young couple are in the middle of an argument... Man: ""Yeah well, your hemorrhoids are disgusting!"" Woman: ""At least they stay out of my asshole!"""

"""I'll sleep when I'm bread."" -Dough"

"If 4/20 is national weed day whats 4/21? National surprise drug test day! Happy 4/20 everyone! :)"

"Facebook account for sale, friends included."

"The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar."

"Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces."

"MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone* JUDGE: he's got a point"

"Why was the monster sitting in his Easter basket? He was trying to hatch his peanut butter eggs!"