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Joke of the Day

"Her: What's your fantasy? Me: Sexy nurse! H: Meet me in the bedroom. [10 minutes later] *we both come in wearing nurse costumes* M: Uh."

"The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!"

"Congratulations to Alabama for making same sex marriage legal Now the men can finally marry their brothers"

"""sir we don't hire people to be mannequins"" Me:*strikes mannequin pose* ""No, sir we don-"" M:*new pose* [under breath] ""damn this guys good"""

"Have you ever had ethiopian food? Neither have they"

"Poker? I can't even see who you're pointing at!"

"You know why half a joke isn't funny?"

"My hearing loss in both ears"

"Women always check me out. The cashiers at the grocery store are so nice."

"Sorry, I can't delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one"