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Joke of the Day

"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."

"How about I slip down your chimney, at half past midnight?"

"This post will give you wings... because you just read bull."

"I used to have a car that was made out of wood... The only problem was it woodn't go!"

"[walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me"

"FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was ""Snickerboots Fancybasket."""

"You wanna read a joke? My internet points"

"I am sick and tired of women jokes!! period!"

"3 guys walk into a bar... The 4th guy ducked."

"Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't."