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Joke of the Day

"I used to not get on with my mother-in-law but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!"

"What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket? A down comforter."

"Why are there not more black golfers? Because the bus route doesn't go to the country club."

"What do farts and children have in common? You love your own, but hate everyone else's."

"I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist She meant well, but she was just too annoying in bed. She was always saying, ""So, do you like it better like this.... or like this?"""

"I hope I die alone. I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you."

"If you have a bee in your hand what do you have in your eye? Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's What has two knees and swims in the ocean? A Two-knee fish!....."

"What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor? A dog with pawlitical experience."

"Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging? Because X was always 10"