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Joke of the Day

"I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist She meant well, but she was just too annoying in bed. She was always saying, ""So, do you like it better like this.... or like this?"""

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"Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul? He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change."
"Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?"
"Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards... ...creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"
"I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company... My girlfriend recently dumped me and this ""No Tears"" stuff isn't working at all."
"How are blowjobs and hollandaise sauce alike? You can't get either at home."
"""I'll take movies for $500 Alex"" Tim Burton directed this dark tale starring Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter ""You gotta be kidding me"""
"What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photos? Someday my prints will come"
"I made a fortune selling HIV testing kits to Africa In reality, it's just a bunch of lollipop sticks with ""Yes"" written on the side of them."
"what is the stupidest animal in the jungle? the polar bear"