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Joke of the Day
"What do farts and children have in common? You love your own, but hate everyone else's."
Next Joke
"First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, ""THIS IS A ROBBERY!"" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism."
"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"
"How does a crazy person get out of the woods? They take the psychopath."
"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling."
"If I watch a meteor shower Does it feel violated? (x-post shittyaskscience)"
"1 and 2 dogs name you'r dogs 1 and 2.You eat One. You still have two."
"Dentist: ok open up ""Well I guess it all started when my dad left..."" Dentist: no I mean- Assistant: wait bill...let him finish"
"I always felt suicidal.. because I'm hanging on by a thread"
"""The Sun is dying. We need help"" the scientists are speechless. Cool Dad kicks in the door & removes his shades ""It's daylight savings time"""