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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket? A down comforter."

"What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole."

"What's black and white and red all over? The slowest zebra."

"So far, I've gotten away with passing as an adult again today."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 kept blowing up and starting on fire"

"Unless you've been in Target with more than 1 child, you have no idea what it's like to be a lion tamer."

"say what you want about sleepwalkers... At least they always follow their dreams."

"I don't sit crossed legged to be classy, I'm holding my tampon in"

"I just flushed a stink bug down the toilet along with the dump. Who's the stink bug now, Bitch?"

"OK. I just got a text message from a number I don't know. It says: ""I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!"" I'm terrified but kind of impressed, too."