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Joke of the Day

"They should pass out condoms at the election That way the American people can at least be safe when they're fucked"

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a female track team? One is a cunning bunch of runts..."

"ME: I wasn't invited to the party FRIEND: Yeah, people think you're melodramatic ME: [slaps friend with silk glove] Then I shall die alone"

"Girl are you a fox? Because I don't know wtf you're saying."

"My wife died last week It's ironic because her zodiac symbol was cancer. She was killed by a giant crab"

"Why does a space rock taste better than an earth rock? It's a little meteor"

"I had surgery to change myself from Asian to Caucasian. It was a real eye opening experience"

"Whats the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme"

"""You're a joulepersecond!"" ""Wat?"" ""Exactly."""

"Pick something up. You just applied more force on that object than the gravity of an entire planet. Earth, do you even lift?"