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Joke of the Day

"They should pass out condoms at the election That way the American people can at least be safe when they're fucked"

"A guy with a gun enters a bar. ""Who the fuck had sex with my wife?"" he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, ""you don't have enough bullets mate!"""

"Top 5 oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp 2. Civil war 3. Virtual reality 4. Great outdoors 5. Family vacation"

"Did you see the brochure for the California typographer's convention? It's in San Serif."

"The best thing about gay bars is that if someone turns their back to you it's not necessarily a bad thing"

"Some say my wife looks like Mel B. Unfortunately, the B stands for Brooks."

"Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception wasbeautiful."

"Did you hear about the Patriots? I personally think it's all overblown."

"Once upon a time a guy was left hanging..."

"If the backup sensor beeping in my car is keeping with the beat of the song I'm listening to I'm probably just gonna hit whatever it is."