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Joke of the Day

"Top 5 oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp 2. Civil war 3. Virtual reality 4. Great outdoors 5. Family vacation"

"Did you see that crazy news story on the internet? Of course. You reddit"

"What can blow your Mind? A Brain Prostitute! (Maybe a repost though I haven't seen it)"

"Do you know how old I am? I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)"

"Since my girlfriend discovered out the eyeroll and tongue sticking emojis she doesn't have to type words anymore."

"If the sheets are still on the bed when it's over, you're doing it wrong."

"Staying at a hotel tonight which means I get to play everyone's favorite game: Are you smarter than a new shower?"

"My car has started clicking at me. I think it's trying to tell me something, but the jokes on him, I don't speak a single African language."

"My wife is an angel. Bob and Harry are fishing one day.... Bob.... ""How's your wife been?"" Harry....""She's an angel, how about yours?"" Bob....""Egh, mine is still alive."""

"I just bought a Pontiac that sexually identifies as a Ferrari It's a Trans Am"