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Joke of the Day

"Its so hard to know where you're at when your boss is a powerlifter.... They just keep raising and lowering the bar"

"How to write Icelandic: 1) Put a dictionary in a blender 2) Blend 3) Pour onto table. 4) Voila!"

"How I got over my procastination ... I will tell you later"

"My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. ""Really!?"" I asked. ""No,"" she replied, ""April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."" That'll teach her to try to be funny..."

"So my neighbor knocks on my door. So my neighbor knocks on my door at 2:30am last night. 2:30AM!!! Can you believe it?!!? Lucky for him, I was up playing my drums."

"TIL Ron Jeremy is a porn star I always thought he was just an actor but as soon as he came on the screen it was clear"

"What do old women and cottage cheese have in common? They come in chunks."

"Levi's commercial idea. A man lay dead on the ground. Another man stands over him. The camera pushes in slowly on the killer's face. Levi's"

"How does a black chick know she's pregnant? The cotton from the tampon has been picked."

"I'm no mathementientist, but I should probably go to bed because it's 4AM and I'm making up words again."