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Joke of the Day

"My mother always says make the little things in life count. Tomorrow I'm gonna run free math seminars for midgets"

"How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nien."

"Coining Money. George Washington: We should put ""We Trust In God"" on our money. Thomas Jefferson: Great idea! Did you get that? Yoda: Yep"

"I like my women like I like my Africa Undeveloped"

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

"To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office... ..I will find you. You have my Word. --- Edit: 1000 upvotes. Of course it would be on a self post. :( Thanks though. <3"

"How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany? Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss."

"listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk"

"What do you call a giant firebreathing lizard with a procrastination problem Dragon his feet"

"I wrote a best-selling book titled ""How tostick a lamp up your ass"". AMA! Except for how to get to the lamp out of your ass."