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Joke of the Day

"How to write Icelandic: 1) Put a dictionary in a blender 2) Blend 3) Pour onto table. 4) Voila!"

"[1st time on phone with a girl] I've got butterflies in my stomach It's so cute that you're nervous [eating 2nd bowl of butterflies] huh?"

"We get it. You're Muslim. You don't have to Ramadan our throats."

"""Shoot for the moon, land among the stars"" -dead astronaut"

"Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree? Because he couldn't bark"

"I must be an odd one Because I can't even"

"When is there two Ds in ""her?"" http://imgur.com/Rmc4pha"

"A King taught his son how to use the toilet today. Now they call him Prince Charmin."

"My friend told me he hasn't pooped in over a month, but I'm not sure I believe him... ...either way he's full of shit."

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."