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Joke of the Day

"Masturbation Sometimes I masturbate into my big pussy cat and jerk off into my computer"

"Lamar Odom suffered a dozen strokes... Tiger Woods is jealous of his low stroke count."

"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"

"Hi. Everyone. I created a subreddit for topical news jokes. If you like Colbert, Letterman and Leno's opening monologues, come check it out. /r/newsjokes"

"Famous Russian snooker player Inov the red"

"#1 pick up line in a gay bar? ""Can I push your stool in""?"

"I'm sorry, you can't check your disobedient child on this flight. Guess you'll have to carry on your wayward son"

"I'm just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions..."

"Superheroes come from broken homes & inattentive parents. Parents, stop hugging your kids. We need a Batman."

"What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy? Smelly beans!"