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Joke of the Day

"I'm just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions..."

"A math joke I'll tell you in a 1/cos"

"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"

"My wife says she is no longer buying junk food for the family because, ""Everyone just eats it."""

"What did Alex Trebek say when he was about to lose his job? ""My career is in Jeopardy!"""

"You can't run in a camp site. You can only ran because it's past tents."

"I really don't have much of an opinion on alcoholic beverages during the holidays... You could say I'm pretty eggnogstic."

"So, we're arguing and I've suddenly realized I don't agree with a word I'm saying. Which really ups the degree of difficulty for winning."

"Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor who killed everyone? He had locomotives."

"I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying ""get a load of this guy"" every time someone walked in"