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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry, you can't check your disobedient child on this flight. Guess you'll have to carry on your wayward son"

"Dirty funny What do you get when there are two nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you get with two nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you get with two nuts on your chin? A Dick in your mouth."

"How many Duggar does it take to screw in a light bulb? They screw children, not light bulbs."

"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means"

"Did you hear there was a sequel to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas where he visits Charlie in his chocolate factory? It's called the Gas Elevator (I know I'm going to hell for this)"

"Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance."

"I broke up with my penis, so I wrote a song... Called ""So Long""."

"I got in trouble with my date for not opening the car door for her... Instead I just swam for the surface"

"Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball"

"When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?"