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Joke of the Day

"I can tell if someone's uncomfortable around me just by staring at them for 3 hours."

"TIFU by spraying water on a topless model Now all the seats are wet"

"You might be a redneck if someone shouts hoedown and your girlfriend hits the floor."

"What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common? Both are measured in revolutions per minute."

"I've never finished a marathon, but one time I finished a whole bag of Peanut Butter Crunch even though the roof of my mouth was all tore up"

"What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher? Would you like ketchup with your chips?"

"What did Einstein eat as a baby? Formula!"

"I made a joke XD What do you call it when a soldier gets laid? *Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid? *Lies.*"

"I hate it when people want to argue over the use and meaning of words. For example, I like to think of myself as a ""ladies man."" But the jury preferred the term ""rapist."""

"Procrastination is like Masterbation In the end you just fuck yourself"