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Joke of the Day

"I was at a very awkward party last night in an Igloo. I tried to break the ice, but it just made things worse."

"Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders? Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name ""Sanders""."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"A cow went to war... But he didn't know what was at steak."

"I hope there will be a riot where I live... I really want to have an Xbox one and a new TV."

"Will I have an open casket at my funeral? Remains to be seen."

"Why did the elephant paint itself lots of different colors. So that it could hide in the crayon box. Courtesy of my 4 y/o niece."

"Just how hairy was the person who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?"

"My grandpa slept in snow in the Battle of the Bulge & I'm considering throwing out this cup of water bc it has some tiny floaty things in it"

"The best thing about being a woman is having two stress balls attached to your chest."