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Joke of the Day

"Will I have an open casket at my funeral? Remains to be seen."

"The Counselor was greeting the new campers. 'So you decided to come to camp' she said to one. 'Nope' the camper answered. 'I was sent to camp!'"

"A rich kid sees a poor kid kicking a can down the road The rich kid says ""Hey, you, what're you doing?"" The poor kid says ""Moving."""

"Getting friends with benefits is easy If you hang around the welfare centre long enough you're sure to meet a few nice people."

"This youth group broke the number one cardinal rule of making money at a Car Wash. They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign."

"A man is about to jump off a skyscraper... but before he is able to, a physicist runs up to him and yells, ""No! You have so much potential!"""

"A line for cops who pull over attractive drunk models If I could put you in the alphabet, I would go D U I and that's why I'm a writer, I look forward to your hatred of bad jokes"

"Whoever's job it is to make sure I eat before I drink is fired."

"""WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE MY IPHONE"" - new thing I scream at my kids"

"Make a friend today. Give a complete stranger a big, long hug. If they happen to get mad, tell the police a guy on twitter said you could."