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Joke of the Day

"I haven't heard anything from my doctor since my ear surgery. Or anyone, for that matter."

"I ejaculated into my girlfriend's eye today... But to be fair, she should've seen it coming."

"What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing? ""Stop being so elfish, Karen!"""

"So I wrote a Musical It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed. I decided to write it in A flat minor."

"Congratulations, you've won a free - A free what? I can't hear you over my muted speakers. Owned that bitch."

"Boy 1: ""How did you get that bruise on your arm?"" Boy 2: ""I ate some Easter candy."" Boy 1: ""Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."" Boy 2: ""It will if it's your big brother's candy!"""

"How hard do you need to press someone's boob to ooze out milk ? About tree fiddy."

"Mom and Dad said I was bad for putting a cell phone in my vagina but I don't know why. I always come when I'm called."

"Black people have 3 things that are white. Their eyeballs, their teeth, and... their masters"

"Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers."