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Joke of the Day

"Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers."

"A woman is on trial... ...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks, ""First offender?"" The lady replies, ""No your honor. First a Gibson then a Fender."" Edit: Grammar."

"I hate people who don't know the difference between ""your"" and ""you're"" There so stupid"

"Donation A man knocked on my door the other day asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I have him a glass of water"

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Use lubricant."

"HWhy did the monster lie on his back? To trip up low-flying aircraft."

"[first day as London tour guide] And over there is the Tower of [frantically flips through guide book for like 20 minutes] Eiffel."

"whats the difference between a woman and a computer? a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy."

"""on your left u see fred in camo, on your right is bertha, she has ridden many miles on that electric cart."" If walmart had tour guides."

"Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?"