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Joke of the Day

"Today, a midget insulted me, so I had no choice but to punch him in the face... I never thought I'd stoop so low"

"What mouse was a Roman emperor ? Julius Cheeser !"

"I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza."

"It's impossible to be a parent and stay on twitter so I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye. So this is your uncle, you live with him now."

"Don't worry, everyone else is as confused as you, I swear."

"Mommy Mommy (SA joke) Why is Daddy hanging in the cupboard? Shut up, and eat your biltong."

"An apple a day keeps the doctors away... an onion a day keeps everyone away."

"What's the best part about five year olds? They're hands make your cock look huge"

"Everybody in the village agreed that I did an excellent job of sewing their mouths shut. After I left, they were humming my praises."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts..."