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Joke of the Day

"How do tacos fair in a war? They tend to be shells of their former selves"

"Two guys decided to rob a Calender from a Calender store They each got six months"

"Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead? I didn't even know he was sick!"

"cops shutting down my giant SLIP N' SLIDE again because the traffic on the highway needs to get around us I guess"

"Why can't Chinese emperors commit murder? Because it's irregal"

"Why did the computer act crazy? It had a screw loose."

"ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen."

"Woman: ""I'm a sucker for a man in a suit and tie."" Man: ""You had me at 'I'm a sucker'."""

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"I thought I would tell you an anal sex joke Butt fuck it."