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Joke of the Day

"I was sitting in a bar... When a guy yells out, ""Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?"" She yelled back, ""Because I swallowed them all!"""

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because not many of them know how to dance."

"I've been a little worried about the voices I hear in my head,.. .. luckily one of them is a therapist and he's been helping me through it."

"How did the Ethiopian escape prison? He squeezed through the bars."

"What's the difference between a garden hose and a the male prostate? Well, there is a vas deferens."

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me.. As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now."

"DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically"

"*puts seashell up to ear* Me: I think I can hear the ocea- Seashell: Seven days. You will die in seven days. Me: (to friend) It's for you."

"I drink black coffee Because I'm not racist."