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Joke of the Day

"After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me.. As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now."

"Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?"

"I hate when people inbox me to tell me how funny my status es are... Motherf*cker there is a ""like"" button for a reason!"

"Motivating words are harder with autocorrect... - Archive your dreams. - Be excrement to each other. - Nottingham is impossible. - The only thing standing in your way is autocorrect."

"How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It isn't hard"

"Chess with Australians must get so confusing. ""Check, mate."" ""Naw mate, that's just a check."" ""That's what I said. Check, mate"""

"Your heart! *bursts out laughing* It's an inside joke."

"Did you hear about the guy who was caught hiding illegal immigrants in Prague? He got prison for caching false Czechs."

"What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up"

"Ops mom Wait... shit."