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Joke of the Day

"I've been a little worried about the voices I hear in my head,.. .. luckily one of them is a therapist and he's been helping me through it."

"Where does Stevie Wonder park his car? In blind spots."

"9 out of 7 people can't do fractions"

"Imagine how much more useful Superman would've been if he'd helped people move their heavy furniture instead."

"A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed."

"I saw a chameleon the other day ...Lazy Fucker"

"The Bride of Frankenstein Dr. Frankenstein: I took the Bride Of Frankenstein to the Caribbean last month. Igor: Jamaica? Dr. Frankenstein: Yes."

"How do you get to the top of a weather beacon? Climate"

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue? I knew you'd get stuck."

"Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing..."