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Joke of the Day
"Life is like toilet paper... You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."
Next Joke
"What did the Chinese man say when Winter came around? Reddit snow, reddit snow, reddit snow!"
"On a stakeout. Getting bored. Wish these perps would do something. Oh crap. Got my dong stuck in my cd player."
"Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to ""make elephant! Now teapot!"" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball."
"What's the difference between George Michael and Carrie Fisher? Two days."
"What does an Engineer use for contraception? His personality!"
"Aggressiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Until he punches you in the face. Then aggressiveness is inbetween the eyes of the beholder."
"I imagine by now all you Evian drinkers have read the name backwards?"
"Sea jokes aren't for little kids. They're too salty."
"Note to self: Do NOT try shopping for a pearl necklace online. Ever. Again."