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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Drunk."

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" it's a great saying... but a terrible way to tell your kids that they're adopted."

"The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer."

"Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money."

"Snapple's made from ""The Best Stuff on Earth."" Really? Heroin-laced Nutella?"

"How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size? In square feet."

"Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery It's shellfish."

"This is why I don't tell Math jokes The average maths joke is pretty mean"

"Fun Fact: It is annoying that some people think facts are fun."

"Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing? You might get a hole in one."