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Joke of the Day

"Christmas gift Mom walks to her son ""Johnny, what would you like for Christmas - a brother or a sister?"" she asks ""Well, I'd like a sled, but I don't know if your vagina can handle that."" he replies."

"The population of Hidden Valley must be nothing but chubby sorority girls on their periods."

"I bought a nice 12 year old scotch yesterday. His parents weren't pleased."

"The guy installing the new security system said we should upgrade because of the increasing crime rate. Typical alarmist."

"Bad joke I made but thought it was clever in 4th grade What do you get when you slice ice cream? Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now..."

"My father always told me ""Son, you are what you eat"". Guess i'm a dick."

"Oh hey, sorry I accidentally rolled out of your bed, across your floor, down the stairs, out the door, into my car and back in my own bed."

"An Irish girl tells her mom she decided to be a prostitute. ... her mom says ""A WHAT""?!! The daughter says ""a prostitute"". Then the mom says ""Thank god... I thought you said a Protestant"""

"This milk's brand name is ""Organic Valley."" I can't drink it. Too grossed out picturing livers, spleens and pancreases sitting in a valley."

"Why did the calf cross the road? To get to the udder side"