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Joke of the Day

"I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can't any more. My phone battery just doesn't have the stamina any more."

"I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them."

"Where can you find the speed of light? At C level"

"I don't know who this Rorschach guy is but..... Why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting?"

"NCAA Hockey needs to re-name brackets. How is Alaska in the NE? They can see Russia."

"Why didn't Ronda go to Prom? she got Holm schooled &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; [/r/funny told me to go here >.>]"

"good morning class *farts* today we'll *farts* be learning *farts* abou *farts* oh god *farts* call an ambula *farts* it hurts so much *fa"

"I'd never snoop through my girlfriend's phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password."

">be 17 >miss [(For those who don't get it)](http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2012/4/4/1333548711318/Battleship-board-game-001.jpg)"

"How do you pick up a fat chick? Piece of cake."