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Joke of the Day

"NCAA Hockey needs to re-name brackets. How is Alaska in the NE? They can see Russia."

"He already ruined your mascara, don't let him ruin your night."

"What's the difference between babies and boomerangs? If you throw a boomerang correctly, it will come back..."

"Don't waste electricity. Would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?"

"What makes you think this is my first time?"

"You look so perfect standing there, In my American Apparel underwear, But I know now you probably opened the wrong Christmas present grandma"

"What do outlaws eat with their milk? Crookies."

"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition... ...and discovered that he'd gravely misunderstood the objective."

"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."

"I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae"