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Joke of the Day

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. If engineered correctly."

"How to curse like an Irishman ""Whale oil beef hooked!"""

"gluten free cereal. I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it ""NO FUCKING WHEY!"""

"If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you."

"What's Bill Cosby's favourite dessert? Puddin. Puddin his dick inside her"

"""Hold the mayo"" is my ""shaken, not stirred."""

"One of the girls in the office where I work is going to be having a baby. I just haven't decided which one yet."

"I found a chocolate bar down the side of the sofa but I didn't celebrate because it was my old club."

"What's the difference between a bitch and a slut? A slut fucks everybody, a bitch fucks everyone but you."

"Little Johnny Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4."