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Joke of the Day
"Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed? On charges of battery."
Next Joke
"I just leaped over a 3ft tall dog gate with the skill and grace of an olympian to get a snack from microwave. *Adds track star to resume*"
"How much credibility is there in that whole ""you can punch yourself handsome"" theory? Asking for a friend."
"Me: It stands for Greatest Of All Time Jeweller: I just don't think your wife will want ""THE GOAT IS MINE"" inscribed on her wedding ring"
"What do black guys do after sex? 25 years - life"
"The White Stripes Knock, knock! Who's there? Meg White's most complex drumbeat. --- ^(Stolen from 4chan's /mu/ board: http://redd.it/2cl0cw)"
"Well it's that time of year again when the 80 a week I invest in child maintenance finally pays off by providing me with a pair of fucking socks."
"You know what they say about amnesia... No, really. Do you know?"
"[mocking jay part 2] jay: come on guys please stop"
"What do you call an Asian with a big... NSFW Butt hole? Gay ping!"