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Joke of the Day

"Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed? On charges of battery."

"Why did the arsonist get kicked off the basketball team? He kept getting pyro-technicalities."

"What's the definition of ""relative humidity"" in Arkansas? The amount of sweat you can lick off your fathers balls after sex."

"Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam."

"I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my back. I'm not sure yet, but I have a hunch."

"What's the difference between a bucket of sand and period blood? I can't gargle a bucket of sand."

"Don't talk down to me just because I'm drunk on tequila. That's Patronizing."

"Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late? Procrastination!"

"I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers... and dim sum."

"duh. Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red? A: So they can hide in cherry trees. Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree before? A: No? See, it works!"