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Joke of the Day

"Don't talk down to me just because I'm drunk on tequila. That's Patronizing."

"I like my women like i like my coffee Without a dick"

"Q: Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? A: Because they are all wet."

"Why did the lion lose at poker? He was playing with a cheetah."

"Why does Mexico never do well in the Olympics? Anyone who can run, jump or swim is already over the border"

"Note to self: hairspray does not kill spiders; it merely increases their strength and makes them look flawless all day."

"America's favorite psychic Ms Cleo passed away No one saw this coming."

"People who get offended when I breast feed publicly can fuck off What I'm doing is totally natural and strengthens the relationship between me and my dog"

"What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard? Edward Snowed In"

"For dinner last night, all I wanted was some bread that wasn't indian But we had naan"