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Joke of the Day

"HOUSE: I had dreams but no I'll just stay here & let u live in me, fine whatever WIFE: Did u hear something ME: It's just the house settling"

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her..."

"Did you guys hear the one about the circus fire? It was intense."

"Where did Sally go when the bombs fell? Everywhere."

"What does Bruce Lee drink when he's thirsty? Wa-TAH!"

"What is a witch's favourite TV show? Lifestyles of the Witch and Famous!"

"So I was on tindr today and someone offered me a $125/hr ""girlfriend experience"" So she expects me to pay her 125 an hour to argue with me in the middle of an Applebee's!?"

"ISIS vs North Korea. Who would win? everyone"

"Friends are like a trampoline Because I always wanted one. edit: grammar"

"It's not that people use only 10% of their brains, it's that only 10% of people use their brains."