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Joke of the Day
"What does Bruce Lee drink when he's thirsty? Wa-TAH!"
Next Joke
"WHAT DO WE WANT!? CLEARED TIMES ON OUR MICROWAVES! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 0:00!"
"The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping."
"My circle of trust is a meatball"
"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: we'll worry about him in an hour then"
"I don't see why racists are upset with Harriet Tubman being on the $20 bill... They can finally legally own a black person again."
"Is there a stripper named ""Eggs Over Easy"" yet?"
"I woke up to a blow job this morning... That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open."
"What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road? Rust-in-peace."
"Alright MythBusters, it's time to step it up. You're busting viral videos now? Next you're gonna tell me Toy Story 3 was bullshit."