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Joke of the Day

"Friends are like a trampoline Because I always wanted one. edit: grammar"

"How do hair stylists get in shape? Curling Iron."

"I went to visit my Grandpa... My Grandpa said, ""Your generation relies too much on technology!"" I replied, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Yesterday in the World Cup, England beat Germany for the first time in recorded history. In fact, it's the first time England has won anything on the 4th of July."

"I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That'll teach 'em. Can't unsee that."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A total rip off."

"I was going to make a joke about an oil refinery... but I didn't want to make a crude joke."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ammonia ! Ammonia who ? Ammonia a poor little sparrow !"

"Do you know what I miss about my childhood? Not caring about spelling and chocolate milf"

"I feel more shame when someone glances at my computer or phone and catches me looking at Facebook, than I would if it were porn."