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Joke of the Day

"What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly."

"Why don't bars in London have Happy Hour? They're in Greenwich Mean Time."

"Reddit vs the Titanic At least the Titanic had a band"

"Where was the declaration of independence signed? At the bottom."

"What's the difference between a kinder surprise and Michael jackson. One is a choking hazard for children and the other is a chocolate covered candy"

"[On a treadmill next to a girl at the gym] Me: *Out of breath* Feeling the burn? Her: Yup Me: Me too! Her: How? Your machine isn't even on"

"A 13 yr old just told me I was cool for an old person. I almost slapped her then she said ""you're like 23, right? I bought her ice cream."

"How is cunnilingus like riding a bike with an open face helmet? It's a lot of fun as long as you don't end up with bugs in your teeth."

"Straight guys on twitter, If you haven't been hit on by a gay guy on here take a long look at yourself & figure out what's wrong with you."

"Jersey Shore just got cancelled. Clearly an act of God. Your move, atheists."