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Joke of the Day

"Putting a woman on a $10 makes sense . . . . . . no one really wants a 1 or a 5. (As heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)"

"What's wrong with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes."

"A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease."

"What do you get when you cross a donkey and a piece of onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear in your eyes."

"I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready."

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting together. A young child walks by and the priest says, ""Man, i'd love to screw that kid!"" and the rabbi responds, ""Out of what?"""

"I don't understand it, my new book How to Overcome Your Addiction to Shoplifting' is sold out everywhere, yet I've not made a penny."

"I just gave a bus full of teenagers the finger before they had a chance to give it to me."

"Accidently played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear. Now it can ride a bike without training wheels."

"Every time someone tells you they are a vegan an angel eats a dog."