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Joke of the Day

"A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease."

"What is the most common use for pig skins? To keep the pig in one piece."

"""Ughhh! It's raining! My hair and shoes are sooo gonna be ruined!"" -rich people. ""WOOHOOO free shower and car wash!"" -poor people."

"Why Snoop Dogg can't eat a hotdog... Because he drops it like it's hot!"

"Trump & Hillary are on a boat. The boat sinks, who survives? The United States."

"What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote? One has a long smeller the other a loud yeller!"

"me: it smells like updog in here me: what's updog me: not much dog what's up with you lmao me: lol therapist: I see"

"There are other people smarter than me and better looking and more talented and richer but what I have that they don't is bitter jealousy."

"Why are lilypads round? So that it's easier for the hippos to jump on them."

"The American people should elect Gabe Newell president in 2020. That way we can be 100% certain the President of the United States will not start World War III."